Crazy week.
God grabbed me and took me on a surprise "field trip" (phrase credit to Naomi Galvan) that involved a few stops with lessons prepared that I HAD to learn, apparently haha. I walked aboard the bus, unknowingly. He buckled up, looked in the rear-view with a knowing smile, and HIT the throttle.
Change.
Beginning of the month, our pastor and worship leader moved to another town for good.
I stopped teaching 9th graders on Sunday mornings and joined an adult Bible fellowship instead.
Moved twice in the past month.
Decided I'm going to step back from a lot of the "good" things I'm involved in so that I can go full time at Lowe's. Due to availability, will no longer be doing the weekly Bible study with internationals or the weekly community group.
Scary.
Is this what I'm supposed to be doing God?! Focusing all my time and energy where my heart is, with my co-workers?
Won't be working with my sweet babies at KDO (church preschool) anymore. That's scary too. I love them to death and treasure my time with babies, since I don't have any of my own yet.
Store manager at Lowe's left. Got a new one. ASM at Lowe's left. Got a new one. Tons of employees followed and left. Didn't get new ones...
Shorthanded and overwhelmed, knowing in the back of my mind that I'm about to move positions too. And to top it off, after a long night, I find out that two people I respect were just demoted, while I'm about to be promoted. Awful feeling.
... So I broke down. Tears. Snot. No trace left of mascara lol... and the theme through it all was: Grace. From Jason Hatch's sermon, "He gives us grace upon grace. Grace in TRUTH." He knows us, and still CHOOSES to show us grace. To help. To sustain. To love. To give all that we need. To BE all that we need.
Even in our shorhandedness at work, my team was there to lend a helping hand. Management never once expected more than I could give, though goals were not being met. Grace.
Leaders at KDO offered full support for wherever the Lord would lead me, affirming my ministry with the kids, yet lovingly letting me go. Grace.
So, I'm on the floor, pleading with the Lord to help me stop crying, to calm me, to talk sense into me! (So my eyes won't be all puffy for work ;) ) and what do I realize??
I'm weak. Can't even control my own body's emotions.
He sustains the whole world- doesn't once forget or struggle to make sure everyone has breath.
Humbled.
This is EXACTLY where You want me! haha! You oppose the proud and give GRACE to the humble (James 4:6). You PUT me in the perfect position to receive your grace! Surprisingly, I'm grateful! I see, I feel, I am experiencing, that I cannot do this in my own strength.
"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but rather painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of RIGHTEOUSNESS and PEACE [I want that! I need that!] for those who have been trained by it" Hebrews 12:10-12.
There's hope!
And I know that You have said that it's in my weakness that You are lifted high :) Isn't that what we've been desiring? That Your name would receive praise and honor and glory? The means may not be comfortable! I may not necessarily like it! But I know that this "thorn" in my side will be used for my good and for Your glory, if You choose not to remove it.
Crazy emotional roller coaster!
Well worth it.
"And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose" Romans 8:28
God grabbed me and took me on a surprise "field trip" (phrase credit to Naomi Galvan) that involved a few stops with lessons prepared that I HAD to learn, apparently haha. I walked aboard the bus, unknowingly. He buckled up, looked in the rear-view with a knowing smile, and HIT the throttle.
Change.
Beginning of the month, our pastor and worship leader moved to another town for good.
I stopped teaching 9th graders on Sunday mornings and joined an adult Bible fellowship instead.
Moved twice in the past month.
Decided I'm going to step back from a lot of the "good" things I'm involved in so that I can go full time at Lowe's. Due to availability, will no longer be doing the weekly Bible study with internationals or the weekly community group.
Scary.
Is this what I'm supposed to be doing God?! Focusing all my time and energy where my heart is, with my co-workers?
Won't be working with my sweet babies at KDO (church preschool) anymore. That's scary too. I love them to death and treasure my time with babies, since I don't have any of my own yet.
Store manager at Lowe's left. Got a new one. ASM at Lowe's left. Got a new one. Tons of employees followed and left. Didn't get new ones...
Shorthanded and overwhelmed, knowing in the back of my mind that I'm about to move positions too. And to top it off, after a long night, I find out that two people I respect were just demoted, while I'm about to be promoted. Awful feeling.
... So I broke down. Tears. Snot. No trace left of mascara lol... and the theme through it all was: Grace. From Jason Hatch's sermon, "He gives us grace upon grace. Grace in TRUTH." He knows us, and still CHOOSES to show us grace. To help. To sustain. To love. To give all that we need. To BE all that we need.
Even in our shorhandedness at work, my team was there to lend a helping hand. Management never once expected more than I could give, though goals were not being met. Grace.
Leaders at KDO offered full support for wherever the Lord would lead me, affirming my ministry with the kids, yet lovingly letting me go. Grace.
So, I'm on the floor, pleading with the Lord to help me stop crying, to calm me, to talk sense into me! (So my eyes won't be all puffy for work ;) ) and what do I realize??
I'm weak. Can't even control my own body's emotions.
He sustains the whole world- doesn't once forget or struggle to make sure everyone has breath.
Humbled.
This is EXACTLY where You want me! haha! You oppose the proud and give GRACE to the humble (James 4:6). You PUT me in the perfect position to receive your grace! Surprisingly, I'm grateful! I see, I feel, I am experiencing, that I cannot do this in my own strength.
"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but rather painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of RIGHTEOUSNESS and PEACE [I want that! I need that!] for those who have been trained by it" Hebrews 12:10-12.
There's hope!
And I know that You have said that it's in my weakness that You are lifted high :) Isn't that what we've been desiring? That Your name would receive praise and honor and glory? The means may not be comfortable! I may not necessarily like it! But I know that this "thorn" in my side will be used for my good and for Your glory, if You choose not to remove it.
Crazy emotional roller coaster!
Well worth it.
"And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose" Romans 8:28
