Eyes Opening

What comes with knowledge? Responsibility.

The first week of October marks the beginning of language class. A local professor will come to the farm as an adjunct teacher, for foreigners wanting to study the native tongue. Soon I’ll be able to communicate. Knowledge will be entrusted to me, and then I’m relying on Love to compel me to make use of it. “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says” James 1:22.

Quite frankly, life here got boring incredibly quickly. After the goodbyes back home, the anticipatory flight, greeting my new co-workers and being shown to my new room-the starting place for each day’s adventures-the mundane set in. Mon.-Fri., 9-4, just me and the two kids, alone in a big room. I watch them go through their workbooks and chime in every so often, to answer a question or offer guidance.
Leaves me with lots of time to think (uh oh. Beware: heat and pressure may cause combustion). Without delay, I began to analyze everything about life here. Is this what I came here to do? Is this worth all the time, energy, and resources? Am I a part of the right team? Are we even on the same page? And, what page are we supposed to be on? Is all my work worth anything if I’m not enjoying it at the end of the day, and I’m miserably doing it out of obligation? (Read Ecclesiastes and you’ll get a better sense of all that was going through my head).

Time. Patience. Perseverance. Progress. I’m still figuring out what those words have in common.  I’m SURE there’s something.

So, what am I doing here? Teaching, yes. Thankfully, the little I’m able to do without LA skills is valuable to this family. I’m also learning the language… one word at a time. My body is adjusting to the diet here. I’m realizing that community can be both a curse word and a blessing, depending on what you make of it. Slowly, uncertainly, cautiously, I’m figuring out what to do with so many different opinions, values and ideas, all in one little Body, living on one little farm. Independence? Try vying for that quality when you’re seeking unity, peace and understanding. Ain’t gonna work. Self-glorification doesn’t work either.
Being part of a collective community takes a whole lot of adjusting and re-adjusting. It takes effort.
It’s worth it though, in the end. Helps me sleep at night. Probably helps others sleep at night. Helps me navigate my day, my conversations and my interactions; it calibrates my heart. Aren’t those the components that make up life?
So, I’m learning to live, apparently.  

I’m learning what’s important and what’s not worth making a fuss about. I’m trying to figure how the locals keep smiling. I’m watching history repeat itself, as precautions are taken to keep us from being seen together in certain public places. I experience outsiders going into a foreign land to “serve,” and in turn, the 1621 Thanksgiving scene repeats itself. I’m wondering if Michael Jackson had as big a scare as I did, to bring him to that realization about the man in the mirror. Who knew a reflection could be so disturbing?

So, what’s keeping me here? Get ready for the cliché, but painfully true, answer.
Faith-that He’ll bless these people, because I am sure that He loves them.
Hope-that He’ll use me and, in the process, I’ll come out more like Him, because of His love for me.
Love. His love. It started things, it sustains things; the reward is love. Love is everything.